I’m looking for golf balls which do not contain magnets for water and wood

water on golf courseWhile I followed the vacuum cleaner around this morning, I was listening to a fascinating talk by William Lane Craig about the integration of creation and evolution. (more about that on another day.) But then the battery in my mp3 player ran out – obviously it was a battery of the insufficiently evolved species. This left my fertile mind free to ponder other things, and my mind went to golf.

I don’t golf much, but my Dad got me started when I was 14, after I had carried his clubs for a few years, and so I have had lots of years for experience. For some reason, I have never owned a golf ball which did not have a magnetic attraction to water hazards and trees on the course or bush on the side. Perhaps someone can tell me where I could buy golf balls without these magnets in them.

Two thoughts occurred to me this morning. First, a fair number of the balls I have purchased were obtained at the counter of the golf club as seconds. These were all fine looking balls, but obviously some eager entrepreneur had fished them out of the pond or discovered them in the bush. That should have alerted me immediately to the fact that these balls contained the troublesome magnets. But I have also bought brand new balls and they have always had the magnets too, so I’m still seeking balls that don’t contain these.

Second, however, it has occurred to me that the magnetic attraction might not be in the balls after all, it might be in my head. Unquestionably, the sight of a water hazard between me and the green, or the vision of a tree looming up ahead of me, or of bush dangerously close to me, generates fear. Long years of experience have made me aware of the great attraction of my golf balls to water and wood. Perhaps my trouble has nothing at all to do with the golf balls. It may be the fear generated in my head by some sort of mechanism, which could well be the result of junk DNA, and this accounts for my many lost golf balls.

Anyway, perhaps some of you have never had a golf ball go in the water or ricochet off a tree, and you can either direct me to a manufacturer who makes balls without magnets in them, or to a genetic surgeon or counsellor who can address the problem in my head. Do let me know if you have any helpful suggestions.

 

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4 Responses to I’m looking for golf balls which do not contain magnets for water and wood

  1. Darryl Klassen says:

    Considering the cost of golf balls and the ongoing industry of producing said balls my hypothesis is that there is no such thing as a magnetic-less golf ball. It is a money-making scheme. Having said that, Terry, if you turn 20-45 degrees (while on the tee) away from where you slice or hook, you might counteract the magnet. It’s worth a try 🙂

    • Terrance Tiessen says:

      Thanks, Darryl. It is when the water is right in front of me that I am most attracted to it, even if I’m on the fairway and not far from the water when I hit my shot. 🙂

  2. Stan Fowler says:

    Just remember the golfer’s Psalm. He makes me lie in green pastures beside quiet water, not vice versa.

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